Sunday, January 4, 2009

My prayers are with her swim coach

Tomorrow Lily will have a first. One of those firsts that I'm afraid we waited a wee bit too long for.

How am I preparing her for her first swim lesson? I am trimming and filing her fingernails. Just doing my part to prevent blood from being drawn. Her swim coach will thank me.

I met him the other day. Poor unsuspecting guy. Just a young cute kid. Will he be able to handle Lily and her tremendous fear of water? The fear that sends her into ear piercing screams? The fear that prevents her from going under water at all? Or even just standing in it if it is deep...you know...above 18 inches. And she applies the 18 inch rule not only to herself, but to anyone who is holding her.

I experienced being squeezed to death by the 4 legged octopus last summer when I proceeded into uncharted territory...the depths of three feet. I did the only reasonable thing that came to mind...I dunked her. I used to torture my cats with water baths as a child...but now I have kids. It’s just as fun and their claws are much easier to maintain.

I can’t wait to see what his approach will be tomorrow. If you’re in town and trying to peg where the screams are coming from around 4 PM, just turn your ears towards (or away!) from LifeTime Fitness. Or if you want a ringside seat, join me upstairs on the bikes. They overlook the pool perfectly...from behind glass windows which I hope are soundproof. If not, I’ll probably be making snide comments to whoever is around me...whose kid is that? Look at her! Man, she really has a set of lungs. Hopefully I won’t have my cover blown by a page for Lily Gibson’s mommy to return to the pool area.

The swimming lessons are a gift from my mom. Lily is soooo thankful. I should have asked for some extra money...I think it is going to take some bribing to get this guy to come back for day two. Should I slip him a twenty? Maybe just a ten. That should be enough for some Just for Men. The least I can do is help him cover the gray hairs he’ll surely be sprouting over the next few weeks.

18 comments:

My2Gs said...

Good Luck Lilly :) Grace has her first session last winter. We need to re-enroll her. She might surprise you, Grace did.

Unknown said...

This post really cracked me up! It should be fun....!

life with the wisners said...

friend. i am serious when i say that i will be praying for lily tonight as i go to sleep.

swimming has evolved in our house. i won't even bother going into all of the details. but they are brutal. i'll leave it at that.

totally praying for your little punkin. and for you.

and for coach. definitely, DEFINITELY slip him a $10 bill.

Wilson Family said...

Again, you are so funny! I love reading your blog. It almost always makes me laugh out loud.
I won't come for the show, but maybe I will join you at the gym tomorrow. I really need to get back there. And it would be great to go with someone!

Sara@iSass said...

I love a gal that can dunk her screaming child! I did the same thing to Butter. I kept doing it until she stopped screaming.(On her own choice NOT because she was drowning mind you.) I told her that she would have to keep jumping in (Being thrown in) until she could do it WITHOUT screaming. Then I would stop and she could go on her merry way with the life jacket. If for ANY reason she started screaming again, it was back to the being thrown in. By the end of summer she would jump in with me waiting to catch her. But I tell ya, that fear is something else. I'll pray for your sweet Lily. AND for the coach.

Kristi said...

Oh, my goodness. Rachel and I so enjoyed the laughter in this post. It seems like yesterday that she had her first lesson. She loved it. I still remember her little heart trusting her swim instructor as she jumped into her arms. It was far better than I thought. I hope tomorrow is better than you think too.

Growin' With It said...

i've seen the "younger" kids that work with children and they always seem waaay more patient than us. i hope it goes GREAT and if not, have you heard of the mom/child swim classes? might help. or the $20 sounds good too!

Jamie said...

You crack me up. But I know it's really no laughing matter. Hoping all goes well with the lessons tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

This was so funny! I hope lessons go well.

Tricia Hoffmann said...

I used to get these giant cookies from the snack bar after my swim lessons. I am sure it wasn't as big as I remember but peanut butter was the best!

Laura said...

Sorry, but I certainly don't envy you!! Alise had her first swimming lessons last summer and she STILL talks about that nightmare. She'll get in the water as long as someone is holding her, but don't mention getting her hair wet or the cuss word, "swimming lessons." She literally bursts in to tears every time!! Let us know how your little ones does!!

Jackie said...

Ohhhhhh...the dreaded swimming lessons. You're smart for getting her started now, though...hopefully she'll get over her fear early on and never have to deal with it again. Good luck, Lily, can't wait to see some pics!

Melissa :) said...

Oh poor girl! Bless her heart. And yours. LOL

Smart move putting her in lessons. She may never like the water, but she definitely needs to become familiar with it.

Cason used to be the same way. Terrified - & we have always had our own pools so it was weird. One day - he just got in. And he's never gotten out.

Good luck! I'll say a prayer.

jennifer said...

that is so funny!

Avery will take swimming lessons this summer. I'm anticipating the same reaction!

The Sullivan Sitcom said...

Good luck girl, I can't wait to hear how it goes!

Anonymous said...

Takes me back. Remember Mr. Louis. Highly recommended by Gloria Miller. Your Dad had to physically restrain me and remove me from the property as Mr. Louis was making you jump off the diving board and you changed your mind. I can still see the portly Mr. Louis chasing, yes CHASING you around his back yard. I never attended another lesson. Your Dad had to handle it and you did learn how to swim. You were also 4 years old. MOM

Lisa said...

I love it! How did things go?? Over the summer we had the same type of terrified response from Chloe so I made Hubby dunk her, again, it seemed like a good thing. Not so much. But I got to be the hero who saved her and she clung to me for the rest of her pool time.

Carolina Mama said...

Hi Kerry, Thanks for stopping by - I always love hearing from you. And you're already on my Blogroll so that's all good. ;) Blessings on your first swim lesson for Lily!

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