Finger Painting with Poo Poo

Warning: Although I promise not to post any pictures, this post is not for the fainthearted!

All I needed were some wipes...baby wipes. We had run out in Jade's room so I proceeded to Lily's room to retreive the pack I had recently opened. It wasn't where I had left it. When I do find it and pick it up, it is completely empty. Hmmm....then I see a pile of used wipes next to Lily's bed. I decide to turn on the light for further investigation. They are truly used. I'm talking a full pack of 88 wipes! Most of them are covered with brown streaks. NO, Surely NOT, it COULDN'T be POO POO!!! Oh yuck. Then I start to smell it. I pull back her comforter and a TURD rolls out. OMGosh! LILY! LILY! Get yourself up here RIGHT NOW! For some reason she doesn't come very quickly so I start to look a little further. There are 3 pull-ups in various stages of use scattered on the floor. A stack of clean ones lay in her bed. Then I notice smears of poo...just like brown finger paint...all over her precious pink pillowcase. I've always loved the colors pink and brown together. A real favorite of mine actually...I'll never think of it the same. It didn't end there though. Apparently she was enjoying her artwork so much that she needed a fresh canvas...her white bedrails were her choice. Then to top it all off, a few more smears on her lime green bedside table. I have to hand it to her...I like green and brown together as well.

Lily arrived in her room. WHAT is this MESS? She tells me that she knows how to change her own pull-up now. After some pretty severe counseling on how she will not ever do that again, I start to think of how this even happened. I can count on one hand the number of times this child has even gotten out of bed without me being there...seriously...less than 5 times in the entirety of her 3 years, 4 months, 2 weeks and 5 days on this earth. But all of a sudden today she gets out of bed to change her own poopie? How didn't I hear it? I heard her doing her usual talking before falling asleep at naptime. I had heard a few songs and reenactments of her favorite parts of The Ariel Movie (known to others as The Little Mermaid), and then it got quiet. Which means she slept on that yucky pillowcase.....barf-ola! I honestly don't know how I missed all the poopie changing action over the monitor. What is even crazier is that her father didn't notice anything being amiss when he got her up after nap. How anyone could have missed all of that is just beyond me...I mean the smell alone...ugh.

I hope some of the 88 wipes had been used to clean her hands. It was those same hands that later helped me prepare dinner and also caressed her baby sister's face. I did have her wash her hands before she helped me with dinner, but it wasn't the sort of boiling hot, skin removing, scrub down that I would have done if I had known they had been covered in poopie just moments before!

Please excuse me. I am headed to Costco to get the largest size of industrial full strength BLEACH they offer. If you don't see me for a while, it is because I am still scouring my house. When you do see me, you'll at least know why I will be omitting brown color combos from my wardrobe.

***Footnote***
Lily's tenderhearted father just read this post and wanted me to make certain that everyone knew our daughter isn't the type to 'play' with poo, that she was clearly just trying to clean off her fingers on the previously mentioned 'canvases'...apparently 88 wipes were not enough!