What is this green stuff?

I live with a heckler. My husband. He is constantly joking around and completely in good fun trying to get a rise out of me or ruffle my feathers in some way.

I'm starting to realize that his love language is heckling. I'm not sure if I am blessed or cursed.

Apparently he grew up seeing his Merner and Paw heckle each other in this way and loved it. Sadly I never got to see those two in action. I wish I had...if for no other reason so that maybe I could understand it a bit better.

Jerry and I rarely get ready together in the morning. He is usually out the door around 5:oo AM to head to the gym to exercise, where he also gets ready for work.

Yesterday morning he was off for the holiday though. I was finishing up showering while he was at the sink.

And the conversation begins:

J-What is this green stuff?

K-Green stuff?

J-This green stuff.

K-(peeking out from the shower curtain) What green stuff?

J-Right here. (pointing and tapping) This green stuff right here.

K-(wiping the water from her eyes, expecting to see some strange hair product spillage or remnants of who knows what...finally sees what he is referencing) Jerry, you ___ ____!

In order to keep the blog family friendly, I didn't call him anything too bad....something along the lines of "smarty pants", and the girls were not within hearing distance.

Yet, I did totally cuss back at him. That is just carrying on the family tradition from what I hear from the relatives. When I look at their pictures, I still can't envision Merner and Paw heckling each other in the family room and throwing out an occasional cuss word for good measure.

So, I'm guessing you're curious as to what "green stuff" he was referring to.


The bathroom counter top. That is the green stuff. Which is usually completely covered. It just so happens that this weekend I actually made it past cleaning just the downstairs and the parts of the upstairs that the girls use. I ventured into cleaning the master bedroom and bathroom. Which required me to remove countless bottles of hair product, make-up, random accessories, brushes, combs, cotton squares, q-tips, facial cleansers, contact solutions and cases, etc.

That is the thing about Jerry's heckling. It is always rooted in truth. It had been quite a while since he had seen those green tiles.

I am laughing because I totally had to clear it off again just to take the above picture. Why is it so hard to keep it clean? Between the two of us we have nine drawers and three shelved cabinets to store toiletries. I guess I just don't see the point of moving it a mere 18 inches to put it away only to get it all back out again.

I can't blame my mother either. She always kept things clean and tidy. She was not a heckler. If my room got out of hand she didn't say much. I would come home to a closed bedroom door though which meant she was tired of looking at it.

Maybe next time we have company over I'll hear Jerry say, "Kerry, what is that red thing?"

"Red thing? Oh yes, our bedspread is red, isn't it honey?"