Rubber Gloves. Are they ever used for anything pleasant?

Gloves. I didn't even own a pair. Thankfully I haven't really needed them. Even the sound of them popping as you arrange them on your hand brings back memories of the doctor's office.

I broke down and bought a pair though after putting off a dreaded task for over two weeks now. See this bag? This yucky trash bag? With the diaper peeking out? I had the pleasure of digging through it today...item by item looking for something.


Two somethings, actually. Namely my driver's license and social security card. Lost at the hands of my 19 month old. Who would let their toddler run around with such things? A mommy who was trying to sneak some computer time...ahem...I'm guessing anyway.

Last I knew, they were on the scanner. It rests on a shelf below our desk which is conveniently located a few inches from our TRASH CAN. Great.

When I realized they were missing, the trash had just been rolled out to the street. My sweet hubby retrieved the bag and delivered it to our front porch. I was hoping that he might take a quick look, but after waiting weeks now...I'm guessing every guy has his limits.

Then I realized why he had been reluctant.

The bag also contained the week's diaper trash. Not normally a problem because the diaper genie forms them into these totally contained, cute little sausages or tootsie rolls...whatever food analogy you prefer. It is customary to slide the roll of diaper trash down the stairs in slinky style before it gets taken out.

However, this time while doing the slinky roll down, the bag busted and diapers were strewn everywhere. Such a proud parenting moment. It all came back to me as I started missing my two most important forms of identification.

So after making a quick trip to CVS for some protection, I emptied the contents of the bag and sifted through it item by item on our garage floor. The weather had turned colder again, so I was hoping the stench had died. Nope. Apparently fermentation can occur no matter what the temperature.

The slinky game is OVER. Not taking any chances in the future.

And after all that, I will still be doing all of my banking transactions through the ATM line because my IDs were not found. They really need to figure out a way to give suckers out through the ATM...my kids are so confused. Um, mom, we're at the bank...where is my sucker?

Thankfully I don't think I'll be visiting both the DMV and the SS office on the same day. That would put me over the edge...as I'm guessing I'll need my DL to apply for a new SS card.

Maybe they'll turn up soon.

Where, oh where, would a toddler hide such things?