Friday, February 20, 2009

Rubber Gloves. Are they ever used for anything pleasant?

Gloves. I didn't even own a pair. Thankfully I haven't really needed them. Even the sound of them popping as you arrange them on your hand brings back memories of the doctor's office.

I broke down and bought a pair though after putting off a dreaded task for over two weeks now. See this bag? This yucky trash bag? With the diaper peeking out? I had the pleasure of digging through it today...item by item looking for something.


Two somethings, actually. Namely my driver's license and social security card. Lost at the hands of my 19 month old. Who would let their toddler run around with such things? A mommy who was trying to sneak some computer time...ahem...I'm guessing anyway.

Last I knew, they were on the scanner. It rests on a shelf below our desk which is conveniently located a few inches from our TRASH CAN. Great.

When I realized they were missing, the trash had just been rolled out to the street. My sweet hubby retrieved the bag and delivered it to our front porch. I was hoping that he might take a quick look, but after waiting weeks now...I'm guessing every guy has his limits.

Then I realized why he had been reluctant.

The bag also contained the week's diaper trash. Not normally a problem because the diaper genie forms them into these totally contained, cute little sausages or tootsie rolls...whatever food analogy you prefer. It is customary to slide the roll of diaper trash down the stairs in slinky style before it gets taken out.

However, this time while doing the slinky roll down, the bag busted and diapers were strewn everywhere. Such a proud parenting moment. It all came back to me as I started missing my two most important forms of identification.

So after making a quick trip to CVS for some protection, I emptied the contents of the bag and sifted through it item by item on our garage floor. The weather had turned colder again, so I was hoping the stench had died. Nope. Apparently fermentation can occur no matter what the temperature.

The slinky game is OVER. Not taking any chances in the future.

And after all that, I will still be doing all of my banking transactions through the ATM line because my IDs were not found. They really need to figure out a way to give suckers out through the ATM...my kids are so confused. Um, mom, we're at the bank...where is my sucker?

Thankfully I don't think I'll be visiting both the DMV and the SS office on the same day. That would put me over the edge...as I'm guessing I'll need my DL to apply for a new SS card.

Maybe they'll turn up soon.

Where, oh where, would a toddler hide such things?

19 comments:

Jennifer @ Taking My Time said...

I let the little one have things he shouldn't while I get things done, too. Drives my husband crazy!

Hope your cards turn up! Funny, funny post!

Growin' with it! said...

if your keys are the next thing missing and the bank account is empty...i'd keep a VERY close eye on her. she might have a trip planned to the mall!

Wheatley Family said...

You poor thing! I lost my wallet a few weeks ago and luckily somebody turned it in but I know that feeling of loss! Plus my husband wasn't very understanding about the whole situation! RUDE! Anyways- Your family is so adorable and your girls are close to mine in age. I love your blog! Thanks for sharing- it is nice to know other moms go through the same things!

Becca said...

Have you checked every couch cushion, toy that opens, and under all furniture? Good luck finding them!

Rach@In His Hands said...

Oh no! What a yucky dilemma! You poor thing digging through the trash...

I'm just awful about keeping track of my DL...I've "lost" it more than once, but thankfully recovered it in weird places like in a drawer, under the seat of the car, etc. I'm getting better, though!

Tricia Hoffmann said...

I'm still waiting to find my iPod that Trinity "hid" about two years ago. I am sure we will be laughing when I find it! I can hear the conversation.."iPod. That's so 2008!"

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Oh man! That feeling of losing something REALLY important makes me insane! I'm not even exaggerating :)

The poop is just icing on the cake. Someday...it will all be funny, right?!? RIGHT?!? :)

R said...

sister, that just sucks all the way around! and you're right--the thought of having to go to the DMV and SS office are just icing on the cake...

R said...

funny! sarah right before me was thinking the same catchy phrase! great minds...

Raggedy Girl said...

Oh Kerry...praying they show up soon. I have been a dumpster diver myself for a rather large check which got thrown out with the junk mail. Love the diaper sausages!!

Have a great weekend from
Roberta Anne

Aunt Lisa said...

You will need your Certified from the State Birth Certificate, for your SS card, and you can do it by mail, you will also need a state certified copy of your marriage certificate, DL not required, you will also need both of these plus if you have a passport (which I assume you have) that will make your trip to the DMV quite easy..speaking from exprience...hope it helps good luck go to DMV on a Wed morn, usually quite quiet.

Melissa :) said...

Oh good Lord have mercy.

That's all I have to say. LOL

Michele said...

Thanks for the comment! My husband has thrown the full diaper genie sausage down our stair case and the same thing happened! Only he had to clean it up. Thank goodness it wasn't me :-)

Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart said...

Oh no! Good luck finding them. I've lost my cell phone a time or two for the same reason.

JMom said...

Ugh! I HATE digging through old trash...and diapers really are the worst!!!!

(I answered your alarm question over at my place in detail)--Short answer: I still don't know what caused it.

whittakerwoman said...

Oh... I am sorry, that is so sad! :) H

Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt said...

Eeeew!!! Your things are wherever my other two sets of keys are. Let me know when you find them. :)

Jennifer Rutherford said...

My grandmother, the sweet thing that she was, bought me a pack of rubber gloves for right after John and I were married because I could not stand the thought of touching raw meat when cooking. I would slap those babies on and feel a lot better about life! Your post made me think of my sweet gma...thanks! And I've come a long way in 6 years of marriage...no more gloves for me! :)

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