You know you're a mom when...

...you are all dressed up for an event or an evening out and you look down to find a bright pink Dora the Explorer or Hello Kitty band-aid on your finger.

...it isn't unusual to be joined in the bathroom by multiple little people...or to even be holding a child on your lap while trying to take a potty break yourself.

...a good morning is measured by how many times you have to re-warm your coffee. 3+ times equals a not so good morning for me. 1 or 2 times is a decent morning. Didn't have to re-warm it at all? The girls must be at the grandparents.

...you know the location of every drive-thru Starbucks and all the restaurants that feature curbside to go. You are also still ticked that Braums stopped letting you buy milk and bread through the drive-thru window...even though that was years ago.

...playing peek-a-boo with a toddler on the other side of the shower curtain is just part of the morning routine.

...your closet is filled with so many sizes of clothes that it could be its own little retail outlet...pre-ever having children, pre-maternity post having children, maternity, post maternity...plus the sizes that you wore either while you were or were not pregnant, but couldn't bring yourself to wear maternity quite yet or still be wearing maternity after the baby. Does that make sense to anyone? Can you tell I'm getting ready for a garage sale and currently sorting clothes?

Just a few thoughts from this mommy early on a Friday morning. Does anyone else form blog posts in their head as they shower?

It really can't just be called a GIVEAWAY...

it really is more of a PRIZE PACKAGE, as Rachel is calling it...and there are TWO of them to be won.

Go visit Rachel at In His Hands to enter in their drawing...it will help to bring their baby home from South Korea. You will be blessed to read about their journey.


Go...go now!

Bless her heart and bless their tummies

We made a quick trip to the park on Monday when my mom was up for a visit. I was hoping to talk some ducks into eating some of our old bread, but either it was too cold, too windy, or perhaps their tummies were still full from the weekend.


The duck feeding plan was aborted. Thankfully there was a tire apparatus and a wobbly wooden bridge to entertain the girls instead.



With the high being 80 today, I thought we'd shoot for another park and maybe actually get rid of the now moldy bread that has been riding around in the van.

We had no problem enticing the ducks.


When Lily ran out of bread, she quickly began pestering other little kids for some of theirs. Bless her heart. When that didn't work she offered the ducks grass, sticks, stones, and finally wood chips from the playground. And seeing that they had trusted her hand for some tasty bread just moments earlier, many of them ate the wood chips. I put a stop to it quickly, but bless their little tummies.

And while you're blessing tummies, please bless Jade's. She ate a bit of moldy bread...and not from the bag, but rather from the turd laden pond side. Nice.

Guess what I found!

Within hours after writing my last post, I found myself at the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles). It wasn't that I had already given up on finding my two most important forms of ID, but rather that I needed to get a title for a new vehicle transferred into our name.

As I started to wait in line at the title department I started to wonder if I would need a driver's license to complete the transaction.

I don't know about your local DMV office, but ours, and in fact every one that I have EVER waited in, is just plain weird. I guess I could take the view of trying to be entertained by utter randomness of the types of people that come in and out of those doors, but during cold and flu season I find that hard to do. Not to mention that it seems like the people who work there are on a personal mission to make you aware of how much they absolutely hate their jobs. It just isn't a fun place.

So I got out of that line, walked across the hall and instead started waiting in the driver's license line...hoping that if I did indeed need one that a temporary would do.

Finally when I heard the gruff "NEXT" being called it applied to me. I don't know why I felt compelled to tell his mistakenly sweet woman about how I had lost my license, but I did. "Step to the line for you picture, ma'am." What? A new picture? I was thinking they'd just resend my old one. The one that I sort of actually liked. The one where my hair had been washed and I actually had some makeup on. I was starting to think of ways I could lose this one that would document me the way I was looking that morning.

Ten bucks later, I had my temporary and was waiting in line for the title.

This time the employee didn't like the way our insurance company did the temporary card for the new vehicle. Suddenly I was searching of every random pocket and fold of my wallet hoping to find an insurance card for our other car.

And lo and behold guess what I found? From a seldom used pocket that holds my checkbook flap into place fell out my driver's license and social security card. I guess I only thought I had turned my wallet inside out a hundred times. I nearly cried when I saw the picture of me wearing my favorite yellow tee with a tan summer face.

Then the guilt set in for blaming it on Jade all of this time. I guess she was playing around down by our scanner and must have handed my cards to me...such a good girl. And then I tucked them away in such a good hiding place that I couldn't even find them myself.

After a brief moment of guilt I decided I had one more line to wait in. I marched myself back over to the driver's license section to get my $10 back and prevent the scary picture from being printed.

I couldn't believe it, but they let me void the transaction. Now if they could have only erased the smells and images of my earlier trash digging...that would have been something.

Rubber Gloves. Are they ever used for anything pleasant?

Gloves. I didn't even own a pair. Thankfully I haven't really needed them. Even the sound of them popping as you arrange them on your hand brings back memories of the doctor's office.

I broke down and bought a pair though after putting off a dreaded task for over two weeks now. See this bag? This yucky trash bag? With the diaper peeking out? I had the pleasure of digging through it today...item by item looking for something.


Two somethings, actually. Namely my driver's license and social security card. Lost at the hands of my 19 month old. Who would let their toddler run around with such things? A mommy who was trying to sneak some computer time...ahem...I'm guessing anyway.

Last I knew, they were on the scanner. It rests on a shelf below our desk which is conveniently located a few inches from our TRASH CAN. Great.

When I realized they were missing, the trash had just been rolled out to the street. My sweet hubby retrieved the bag and delivered it to our front porch. I was hoping that he might take a quick look, but after waiting weeks now...I'm guessing every guy has his limits.

Then I realized why he had been reluctant.

The bag also contained the week's diaper trash. Not normally a problem because the diaper genie forms them into these totally contained, cute little sausages or tootsie rolls...whatever food analogy you prefer. It is customary to slide the roll of diaper trash down the stairs in slinky style before it gets taken out.

However, this time while doing the slinky roll down, the bag busted and diapers were strewn everywhere. Such a proud parenting moment. It all came back to me as I started missing my two most important forms of identification.

So after making a quick trip to CVS for some protection, I emptied the contents of the bag and sifted through it item by item on our garage floor. The weather had turned colder again, so I was hoping the stench had died. Nope. Apparently fermentation can occur no matter what the temperature.

The slinky game is OVER. Not taking any chances in the future.

And after all that, I will still be doing all of my banking transactions through the ATM line because my IDs were not found. They really need to figure out a way to give suckers out through the ATM...my kids are so confused. Um, mom, we're at the bank...where is my sucker?

Thankfully I don't think I'll be visiting both the DMV and the SS office on the same day. That would put me over the edge...as I'm guessing I'll need my DL to apply for a new SS card.

Maybe they'll turn up soon.

Where, oh where, would a toddler hide such things?

Calgon, I may just take you up on that.

So. Hello there.

You know it is bad when your mother phones you to make sure you are okay...because you haven't updated your blog recently.

It has been crazy for the past week. The girls night out was great. I seriously laughed until I cried. My nose even ran. And I didn't have a tissue. If Lily had been with me, I would have wiped it on her shirt...you know...just to repay the favor.

That night was my last good memory and it was a week ago. Sigh.

I plan on keeping this brief, but the majority of our issues have been stomach virus related. Lily never got it, Jerry and I had it briefly, but Jade. Poor Jade. Late last week you could not only hear her little bottom exploding from across the room, but smell it too. My, oh my. Thankfully she is better now.

There were intermittent episodes of vomit as well. The kind that make you just want to throw out your carpet all together. Thankfully between Resolve and countless hours on our hands and knees scrubbing, the sights and smells are starting to fade around here.

My dear mother could sense my stress over vomit rugs and offered to get them cleaned for us. I think that is a mother-daughter love language thing right there. I owe you mom.

Add some bad mommy days, winter blues, and a few other things and I just haven't been fun to be around.

And somehow in the midst of all this my Google, FireFox, and Blogger pages are all in French at the moment. I don't have a freaking clue. I just hope I hit the right button to get this thing published. My minor in Spanish is helping me a little...but I just knew French would have come in handier though...just knew it.

So, pretending that Jerry has absolutely nothing going on at work, I called him and had a full on meltdown today. The kind that left him scared to hang up too quickly. Poor guy. He got to hear all about how Jade had only napped for two 25 minute intervals and how I had played princess, painted, cut and glued with Lily til I was just about worn out. And how I entertained a neighbor girl this morning and how the milk spilled and how they tracked it through the house, and how Jade slid and busted her head and how Lily wasn't obeying well...and how all of that happened in a matter of minutes.

I felt much better after hanging up.

When he got home he reassured me that these are trying days and how completely normal it is to feel overwhelmed at times. Then he reminded me of these commercials...which I actually don't remember seeing back in the day. Sure, I get the jokes about them, but somehow seeing them is just so much better.

There are multiple versions...all of which we just watched and laughed about.


Do they still make this stuff? I'm thinking my tub could hold quite a bit of it.

I think I may need to get a deadbolt for the bathroom door.

While he's eating leftovers and tackling the bedtime routine...

I will be heading out with some girlfriends to watch Mother Load...a play, which if it is anything like its description, should be pretty funny.

Here is how it is described by the box office:

The Off-Broadway hit Mother Load, written by performer Amy
Wilson is an insightful exposé of the cutthroat world of competitive
parenting. Modern motherhood, this show tells us, is not for
sissies. In a world where a toddler's birthday party must be
catered, a stroller costs eight hundred dollars, and there’s a new
danger in your child’s toy box every week, how can a mother
keep from losing her mind? From prenatal yoga to preschool
interviews, the heroine of this show struggles to throw off the
"Mother Load" of unrealistic expectations, ignore the
competitive "sanctimommies" lurking in every playgroup, and
somehow find the time to enjoy her kids.

Here's to husbands who don't hesitate in giving you a girl's night out and to the girlfriends who think of the idea in the first place. Cheers!

What fun things have you been doing with your gal pals lately?

My "hoffee" girl and her sister who can't breathe

At 19 months, Jade's speech has really been blossoming. I love this stage and seeing how they choose to put their words together to communicate something.

She has recently learned "now", and just by using that little 3 letter word she has suddenly become demanding. "Wa-wa, now! Eat, now!" "Shoes, now!"...good thing she's cute as she makes all these demands.

But my favorite new combination is "hoffee"...I've probably been warning her about coffee being "hot" since birth...why bother saying "hot coffee"? "Hoffee" sums it up pretty well for me.

******************************************************************

The other morning I had to put Lily in time out for pushing Jade. There is a stiff chair in the dining room that I usually make her sit in for four minutes (one minute per year of age) while she thinks about what she has done and forms her apology.

She was so irritated at me for putting her there and although she doesn't often try to get up from the chair, she was objecting quite loudly with her voice. So I closed the glass door between the kitchen and dining room to buffer the noise. As I did, she erupted into even louder wailing.

When I opened the door to inquire what the issue was, she responded, "Don't close the door, Mommy, it makes it too hard for me to breathe!"

Punishment by perceived suffocation. Wow, now that is one I hadn't thought of.

Visit Tiny Talk Tuesday at Not Before 7 to see what other kiddos are saying.

My In-laws...Two weekends...IN A ROW...

We have spent the last two weekends with my in-laws. And I'm not bitter. Or even irritated.

I'm actually sad they aren't coming around this weekend. They are out of town, visiting their real daughter, so don't think I'm brown nosing...I'm sure they won't be reading this.

I am super blessed to have married a guy with such great parents. They are kind, helpful, generous and wise. And their son is all of those things too. *grin*

(I finally found a halfway decent pic of the six of us...at Disney World in December)

They live a couple of hours away, so it is odd to have them around two weekends in a row. First we froze at Fan Fest and most recently we ventured to the stock show and rodeo. The last time we had all gone to the rodeo together was over ten years ago, when Jerry and I were engaged.

It was much more fun this time...mainly because we had a couple of extra cowgirls along with us.


Lily wearing her hat proudly.


There really is a baby under that ten gallon hat on the right. Remember when they donned these hats for the first time? Some of my favorite pictures...ever.

Here is my little Jade.

All was well until we were offered the chance to pet and hold a 2 week old baby goat.


This was Lily's reaction. You'd think she'd just seen the poor thing murder someone. Her fear was completely genuine. I have no clue.

After looking through many of the barns, it was time for a little rodeo.


Before it even started the girls were spoiled with cotton candy and stuffed ponies. Memmy and Paw are always looking out for their girls.

Then the lights went out for the rodeo parade.


I'm not sure who looks more scared, Jade or her pony.

We had a great time...here are a few more shots of the day.

Y'all have a good weekend now...ya hear? Oh, and feel free to leave some praise for your in-laws in the comments...I'm not alone in loving mine...am I?

Seeing as I'm not a fan of Salmonella...

I couldn’t think of a better reason to clean out the fridge.

I’m about to admit to all of blog land that I do not clean out my fridge regularly. Sure, I do the occasional wipe down when it is empty enough for it to be convenient, like right before going to the store, but a full on tear it apart and throw its components in the sink for a good soap and water washing...not nearly enough I’m sure.

However, seeing that I am not a fan of food poisoning or salmonella bacteria in general, I just gave my fridge the best washin’ it has ever seen.

I usually thaw my chicken in the fridge...less chance of growing bacteria that way. I haven’t ever had an issue with throwing a few breasts on a plate and letting it thaw overnight. So I’m not sure if I just chose too shallow of a plate or if the new brand of frozen chicken breasts I bought are just super pumped full of “extra juices”, but I opened the door to a fun surprise.

Pink slimy chicken juice all over the place. It had even seeped into my produce drawers and dripped all over my fresh, and unbagged might I add, fruits and veggies.

Disgusting.

I don’t tolerate the pink juice well during normal cooking, so seeing it contaminate everything in my fridge sent me on a quick cleaning kick...empty fridge or not.

I didn’t snap a before picture. The one I have in my mind will suit me fine for quite a long time I’m sure.

A ton of hot water, soap and a bottle of antibacterial spray later...the three drawers and two glass shelves were clean and ready to be reassembled.

Of course as I’m sitting here typing this post and looking at these pictures, I’m realizing I totally forgot about the door shelves. I must have been in a bit of a pink juice panic.

Oh well, I’ll tackle that the next time disaster strikes my fridge.

Want to see what other bloggers are tackling this week? Head over to 5 Minutes for Mom.

Yes, it is great.

Lily cracks me up with her obsession with all things "princess"...and her line of thinking.

She talks a mile a minute and only takes quick pauses to eat (sometimes not even then...we're working on not talking with a mouth full) and to sleep.

After playing "princess" with a friend, this is the earful I got in the car on the way home. Just try to imagine it spoken in a very, very fast, high pitch voice.

Lily-
I just love princesses. Princesses are my favorite. Can we play the princess game when we get home? I think we should play the princess game when we get home, mommy.

Isn't is great that God made me a girl so I could love princesses?

I wouldn't want to be a boy and have to love cars better.

And after reading this post over at Baby Bangs that described their recent experience at Monster Jam...yes Lily, it is great. I can't see you ever being interested in donning ear plugs and wanting to watch monster trucks. Unless of course one was decorated like Flounder and Ariel was its driver.

Visit the host of Tiny Talk Tuesday to see what other people's kiddos are saying.