Starbucks, Schmarbucks...puleeese!

I really am not a Starbucks regular. If I am going to spend $4 on a coffee, it is because I either am already having a bad day or am anticipating one, and therefore need the ultimate pick-me-up.

Case in point:

Yesterday morning, Jade and I had to leave at the crack of dawn with hair done, make-up applied, and two (yes, two!) pairs of tights on (this is all on her...), along with costume, hat, gloves, tap and ballet shoes, in order to make it to her dress rehearsal 45 minutes away.

I somehow left the house without coffee.

Spending the morning with crazed moms, even crazier teachers and over the top crazy dance directors sent me straight into a Starbucks frenzy.

Afterward, I found the closest one with a drive-thru. Drive-thrus are a requirement.

I pulled up and began placing my order. Whoa! The menu had totally changed since my last visit. I stumbled around a bit trying to decide between breakfast and lunch due to the time it was and how hungry/thirsty we both were.

It went sort of like this:

Me: Yes, uh, I'll have a tall skinny caramel latte with extra foam.

Barista: Is that all?

Me: No. Your menu has changed, do y'all still have those kid snack pack thingies?

Barista: Yes. Do you need one?

***enter grinding and whirling of machines***

Me: Yes.

Rude barista: Is that all?

Me: No. Do you have any of your tarragon chicken sandwiches?

***more blenders going to town***

Rude barista: What kind of sandwich?

Me: Tarragon chicken. *sigh* Do you have any?

Rude barista: (with tone in voice) I can check. Do you need anything else?

Me: (pondering. hot coffee is great...i did still want my morning coffee, but geez...it sure is hot...heading to 102 today...hmmm...i think i want an iced too)... Yes, I think I'll have one of your shaken black iced teas....with one Splenda. (a quick glance behind me shows no one else to be waiting)

***more whirling and swirling of blenders***

Rude barista: What else? A tea? What size?

Me: (seriously trying to figure out the size of teas on the new menu...) um, well, the $1.95 one...oh, I see now...a tall one.

Rude frustrated barista: Okay we do have the chicken sandwich. Now what size tea and what do you need (notice not want) in it?

Me: (with a definitely frustrated face, but stinkin' sweet fake voice). Just a tall one, with one Splenda. Oh, and a tall ice water too.

Rude barista with elevated tone: Does that complete your order?!?

Me: Yes. Yes, it does.

Rude barista in most sarcastic voice ever: See you at the window.

***I am contemplating what just happened. Thinking of how usually the baristas are annoyingly nice and conversational. But after waiting, the whole experience had honestly passed from my mind and I was chatting on the phone with Jerry as I arrived at the window.***

The rude barista is there waiting, actually leaning out, the window. She starts off with, "Ma'am, I could SEE the frustration on your face, but you have to understand that we have all these loud machines in here and I simply could not hear what you were ordering."

Jerry says, "Uh, oh. Call me back."

(see? She could SEE me? Oh dear.) (shouldn't they have to post it somewhere that you are being filmed?)

She continues as I put my phone down, "And your order just kept going on and on and on."

***Deep breath.***

Me: So, let me get this straight. You are upset that you couldn't hear me over your own machines and that I ordered too many things. Hmm. Well, I wasn't talking softly and if the machines are a problem, maybe they need to be moved away from the drive-thru area. I don't see how I am at fault. By the way, I could totally hear the frustration in your voice when you said, See you at the window. I, as the customer, should never hear frustration from you.

She appeared completely flabbergasted, uttered, "Well, okaaaay," and disappeared from the window. Next, a young chipper guy...the usual over the top, chatty, friendly type...served me our order. Then she reappeared to tell me that she didn't want me to be upset with Starbucks and handed me two of these thingies:




I realize the cell phone pix aren't really readable. But they basically say that Starbucks is sorry that my visit was "anything but wonderful" and that next time they see me I can enjoy a free beverage. It ends with, "We hope your next visit is better".

How could it not be, right? So this afternoon after Jade's recital was over, I went for a little free pick-me-up. This time I ordered with not only a *sweet* voice, but a *sweet* face too. A grande (why not?) iced skinny cinnamon dulce was the fix. And I waited, and waited, and waited.

12 minutes in a not very busy drive-thru.

I didn't care though. I had a freebie coupon.

At the end of 12 minutes I reached the window, they handed me my drink and said, "Sorry for the wait, this one is on us."

Well, awesome. Still have two more free drinks to go.

With swim lesson chauffeuring and VBS volunteering, I don't see these coupons making it through a week.