Wireless Schmireless

Wireless technology has me frustrated and hot and sweaty at the moment.

We are a completely wireless, paperless, online banking, bill paying sort of family. Everything is stored online. EVERYTHING.

So last night when our internet went out I was helpless.

This morning I found myself embarking on the dangers of what is also known as our garage to make my way over to the wireless router. No lights. On/Off. Reboot. Reset. (There is a difference)

Well crap. I need to call Verizon Fios. Where, oh where, would their number be? Online. Well shoot, how am I supposed to get to that without internet access? Oh, yes, look on the bill. Dang it...we went paperless with them years ago. No paper bill to be found.

So I call my dear in-laws and have them surf for the number. Do you know how difficult it is to find a silly customer service PHONE NUMBER?!?

So I start calling and getting transferred and disconnected and starting all over again. Those voice prompted systems simply do not work when you have two loud kids in the background. None of my hiding places seemed to have enough reception. They never seem to look for me in the master closet. Is it awful that I know that?

The most fun part was having them follow me into the hot garage and climb on old furniture and play with chemicals while I trouble-shooted with a computer voice on the other end of the line. I finally told the girls there were big scary hungry spiders in the garage and they better get inside and QUICK. It worked. Praise God.

Finally on my 6th call I got a human. Wow. A human in the correct department. Wow Wow. A human in the correct department who actually knew what they were doing. Wow Wow Wow.

So after a sweaty conversation with her in my garage, performing various tests on our wireless router and battery backup boxes, she decided our router was dead. Hallelujah. Now what?

Well, she said, bring your laptop into the garage and hook it up to this blue cord so we can be sure the router is fried. Okay.

It's dead. Gone. Fried. Whatever.

New one doesn't come til Monday. Glory. And I get to set up all by myself...with just a simple phone call to Verizon. Yeah right.

So, I'm unplugging the blue cord and dusting the cobwebs off myself and surprising the girls that I survived all the garage spiders.

Later internet peeps.