Stained

A few months ago, Jerry did the annual re-staining of the girls' play system out back. I got in the spirit and re-stained a rocker out front. Between the two of us, and the girls, we made quite a mess.

Months later I am still reminded of our staining projects. Stain marks on the swings. Brown streaks on Jerry's work pants. Drips left on the front porch where the newspaper failed. It even tarnished the baby monitor when one of us grabbed it as Jade awoke.

Stain is like my sin. It touches so many things...people...that I don't even intend for it to. The harsh tone I take with the girls. The unkind word spoken to Jerry. The word that I should have left unsaid to my sister. Its affect lasts much longer than the actual act. Reaching further and staying longer than imagined. And even though we clean it up with apologies and try to do better, sometimes the stain remains.

During the month of March, the Bible study that I am apart of studied the book of Exodus. There was much to be pulled from the text, but one thing that kept jumping out at me was how much God HATES sin. Thankfully I usually spend more time amazed about God's grace and mercy and love...than I do wallowing in my shortcomings...but at times I think it is good for me to remember my sin, confess it and remember how much God HATES it.

On this Good Friday, I am so thankful. Thankful that although God hates our sin so much, that he chose to punish Jesus for it instead. Thankful that Jesus not only saved me from my sins, but from the WRATH of a Holy God who cannot stand them.

No longer stained but washed whiter than snow...only by the blood of Jesus.

Forgiven,

The Tongue

Late this afternoon we gathered up the kiddos to go visit my step-dad. It was the first time we'd been able to see Charlie since his massive left brain stroke. He was discharged from the hospital and admitted to the rehab wing of a nursing home. Monday he starts a 3 week course of rehabilitation and after that my mom will know a lot more about what course of action to take.

It was so good to see him. He definitely recognized us and the girls who greeted him loudly. He was sitting up and able to feed himself various pureed foods fairly well. But after his meal he was ready to lay back down immediately and from then on we didn't see much response from him.

Charlie is very strong and we are thankful for that. We are anxious to see how far rehabilitation will take him in the days and weeks ahead. As the swelling on the brain decreases hopefully his recovery will quicken. He is definitely paralyzed on the right side. Although he has uttered a few words over the past couple of days, we did not hear him speak during our visit.

I think that the loss of speech must be so frustrating to him. Even more so than the loss of use of one half of his body. It has really made me think about my use of words. I've been pondering what it would be like to suddenly and unexpectedly lose my ability to talk. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I might be in regret of words that recently flowed from my mouth. Were they spoken in love? Were they critical or judgemental in nature? In what tone were they spoken? Should they have even been spoken at all?

I can't help but to wonder if I'd be proud of them being the final words that my husband or children heard from me. I wonder if Charlie has any regrets of things spoken just before he collapsed that afternoon.

Control of the tongue. It must be tamed according to the first 12 verses of James Chapter 3.

These verses from Proverbs are definitely hitting me hard too:

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 11:12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

This final one from my favorite chapter in Proverbs really knocks me to my knees:

Proverbs 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

I am convicted so much for letting the same tongue that teaches my girls about God's love also be the tongue that is snippy, hurried, or impatient with them. Lots for me to ponder.

We are hopeful for Charlie to get back to being himself as much as possible...as soon as possible.

If you have found this blog by way of an email I sent regarding Charlie, please enter your e-mail address at the left so updates can come to your inbox. I plan on posting updates here periodically as a faster and easier way to keep family and friends aware of his progress.

Thank you so much for your prayers, kind emails, and comments.